So today the nation is about to be shocked by what we already knew. We’re in debt. Labour will play it that this black hole is deeper than they thought. All their campaign promises are compromised by this huge lie!
The financial people told us before the election that none of the manifestos were costed properly, and the figures were fantasy because we’re in debt.
Cue the first Labour rebellion. It’s going to be fun.
USA
Now they’ve got a viable candidate cue the insults. Apparently it doesn’t matter how you pronounce Kamala, Trump doesn’t care. Perhaps he’s right because it’s not something that will affect the state of America over-much. If saying it right would balance the economy, then what the heck go for it. Sadly it won’t so the comments are…not politically useful.
Having taken a bullet for democracy, Donald Trump might want to consider if there are people out there only too happy to make him even more of a hero! Never give weirdos ideas.
I didn’t bother to change his name, say Donald, I think Duck because he’s way more famous. I also wonder if he knows what Trump is slang for? At least in my corner of the world. If you know this is funny.
It’s going to be interesting. I’ll reserve the idea of fun until we know if civil war is averted.
Olympics
Firstly, immensely proud of the young British tennis player partnered with Andy Murray, who was happy to prioritise a chance to play doubles with him rather than the singles. Do you understand now Miss Raducanu?
Bless him for giving a real fighter a chance to play against the best one more time.
The opening ceremony was…well it had its (Biden) moments. Hello to South Korea. On TV the cheering overwhelmed the music, so the people gyrating aimlessly along the route did look strange.
The singing could sometimes be heard. The mechanical horse charging down the river took a horribly long time.
What wasn’t meant to be The Last Supper per se, but a comment on inclusion (which is good), unfortunately looked like the Last Supper and upset a few million Christians.
In fairness who knows what a modern Jesus would wear? He was bang up to date in his time with his robes and they look awfully like dresses. Unless history had fashion wrong and he was a cross between modern Punk and New Romantic, but I doubt that.
He would probably have taken the view that what he wore wasn’t nearly so important as his message, and he was known for feeding and hugging anyone. Perhaps a tax collector was a step too far, but then a good person doesn’t judge.
Be like Jesus, just do good for humanity’s sake!
The Olympic flame was spectacular though, as was its journey across the roof tops. But Pole Dancing on the scaffolding of Notre Dame? Only the French, God love ‘em.
Tom Daley continues to inspire knitting and cosmetic enhancements.
To be honest it was a bit of a washout.
Me!
Thoroughly enjoying my new single life. I like my wife much more now she isn’t.
I’ve moved out of the shed into a one bed apartment overlooking the Thames. Yep my political commentary book has sold and the publishers say that it’s a) wildly funny, and b) so unbelievable they will never get sued.
There’s not one lie in that book but the subjects in question will never call me out as they will have to start explaining.
My grandson has decided to be a nuclear physicist, he feels there will be plenty of room for practical jokes there. Don’t worry he was a fireman last week and is already borrowing his dad’s socks, with a view to trying out as an Olympic diver.
His former headmaster is recovered and has emigrated. His father has also recovered and can’t because he’d have to take him. He’s also seeing someone as he’s petrified of toilet seats, and children.
I, on the other hand can sit up a tree for as long as I like, making up interesting stories about politicians. Clue, if it makes them sound interesting and funny, or as if they know what they’re doing. I made it up.
Yours
Clarence
P.S. It’s all so mind numbingly boring I haven’t got a P.S. in my head. That or too unbelievable to write about.
Deb Hawken - Amorah 