I hadn’t realised how much politicians and other leader types are trying to kill us. From helping the NHS destroy itself to creating wars, failing to solve serious problems, and generally messing up the care of the elderly, they’re the biggest threat to mental and physical health that exists. At least our lot wouldn’t start a war.
Why do we even vote? It’s just a cycle. Get the last lot out, and repeat.
The debates in our parliament, if you’re grown up enough not to appreciate ‘clever’ jokes when children can’t get a decent meal, represent the kind of boredom and frustration that can sap your will to live if you watch them more than twice.
If you laugh at the witticisms your soul is in real trouble. Please note that MPs, you scoff and chuckle whilst people have one month to save up a couple of thousand pounds and vacate their house, no matter whether they have anywhere to live or face the streets.
It appears Sir Keir is going to put a stop to this, if he does and fast then I will buy a hat and take it off to him. If I save up hard I can probably afford a cheap baseball cap.
What? You think this job pays well? I bust a gut to get stories, I don’t swan onto ITV looking all hairy and crumpled enough to have slept in my trousers and glow beneath the lights of fame! When did you last see Peston up a tree?
I did see that once, but I’m bound by a confidentiality agreement that would be harder to escape from than a remote island surrounded by killer sharks. In other words we shook hands on it, and that is sacred. MPs really ought to shake hands and mean it. It would save a fortune in passing laws, and the length of two lifetimes in every Parliament.
The Strictly thing gets deeper. Rumour has it that someone is considering legal action over a joke that was apologised for sincerely and in public 15 years ago. The person in question accepted that apology. In the UK years ago if you accepted an apology that was it, done. It was utterly unthinkable that you would change your mind 15 years later. Or at any time in between.
Those simple decencies that made us British are very much missed. And emphatically no I am not talking about any specific area of society. We have a society where children of all races are murdering, killing innocent animals with crossbows, knifing each other over the smallest insults. They are our future!
Decency, honesty, integrity, kindness, are so needed as real things, they actually save lives! Incredible isn’t it!
Decency exists in every soul, we need to access it, and utilise it. Simple things save lives. But in truth there are still far more incredible people in this country than otherwise, just be loud and proud guys. You’re key to a better future.
My goodness! I’m being very thoughtful today, making some grown up points. If this becomes too public I’ll get cancelled for breaking the gutter press code:
Make up a story, sell rubbish, accuracy optional as long as we make money.
Please note that investigative reporting is in a league of its own, and I’d give anything to work at that level. Hint hint.
I’d better go and rest.
Clarence
P.S. I wouldn’t mind working for the Daily Star though, they know how to call out the gutter press and cheer the nation up at the same time, some of their headlines are epic. “Shy bloke and his wife make three part documentary series to protect their privacy!” Something like that anyway.
P.P.S If ever you struggle to explain irony to a child, that and the Oprah Winfrey interview should be enough.
P.P.S. I love Harry, in truth much of the UK is hurt and misses him. Some would throttle him. Equally many don’t care either way. Hard to pinpoint exactly where we stand with our former bit of brightness in a murky landscape. He could always make you laugh. Beating Usain Bolt! Never forgotten that. There used to be smiling faces wherever he went. We need that. Hope he’s happy.
P.P.P.S Now I’m being nice! If I’m not careful my wife might start questioning why she divorced me. Can’t have that! Partly because she’s better off without me, or actually my job. Same thing really.
Now I am knackered!
Deb Hawken - Amorah 