Clarence on the Truth at Last

I have so lost it today and don’t tell me you don’t sympathise. So sorry, not sorry, but sorry.

Five days to go and this truth is spreading. I’m sure there will be a huge Labour victory, but there’s no doubt that a good number of people are turned off politics. Perhaps more than ever before.

Sir Keir has put his elevated foot in it by picking on the Bangladeshi Community as an example of migrants he would send home. There are thousands of people sitting at home now wondering what they did to be singled out after a hard day at work paying taxes. Obviously he means illegal migrants newly arriving, but even so that was not just a mistake it was unfeeling.

I hope it will help them to know that many of us would happily send certain politicians to Timbucktoo on a one way ticket. I’ll personally put Starmer on the plane. Sorry that upset me. It’s not statesman like.

Sunak is getting snappish, he’s actually right that you have a full enquiry which takes time and you say and do nothing until it’s concluded. It’s about time he fought back against the illogical. Don’t worry, that’s just a bit of respect where it’s due.

We must also remember that Starmer’s criminal betting person may have actually told him the truth out of the gate, something the Cons aren’t famous for.

Interesting, we have Cons but it remains to be seen (and heard) whether we have Pro’s.

I do NOT approve of guns but

This was supposed to be an election of current limping forwards versus a new start. However, it’s now about a PM hamstrung by the past, and betrayed as often as possible by his own party, and a successor with as much personality as a watermelon.

Starmer does seem like a very nice man, decent, firm, clear, but like Thatcher he needs voice training to help him sound like he has a personality. That or a wetsuit. Although something with wet at the beginning won’t help. Perhaps the budgie smugglers?

I can’t help wondering though which leader would shoot themselves in the foot first if you gave them guns? Oddly I don’t think Sir Ed would.

Having been powerlessly in power with the Conservatives he will have learned a great deal. Been through the mill when the LibDem ‘supporters’ were too obtuse to see that they were getting the one thing they needed to make them credible – government experience.

Lost his seat. Yet he’s come back, which means he cares. He didn’t just get a well paid job he was straight back in. He’s got real experience of caring over many years of his life, and is focused strongly on one of the worst hit areas of society – carers and caring.

He cares enough to make a fool of himself to get the LibDems on the news virtually every single night to raise awareness of issues. He’s quietly spoken, steady, and he obviously has a personality.

I’m probably not allowed to say that I’d be proud of him on the world stage, so I won’t. His Deputy too.

If that caveat is not masterful ducking and weaving what is? And yes I know you’re not fooled by it, I’m not a politician, I know you’re pretty cool and clued-up people. The thinkers that is not the politically entrenched even when all-else has failed.

I hope you’ve noticed all the italics here. I’m feeling much stronger now there are only 5 days of pontificating left. I am dreading the next five years of promises, excuses, and unanswered questions though.

I must stress that I will be saying precisely very similar if by some miracle that would genuinely make me believe that God isn’t fond of us, the Conservatives win. I would just throw in back-stabbing, lying, cheating, manipulating, and just being Rees-Mogg.

A moment to recover please, but there’s out of touch and there’s the Real Meaning of superiority complex.

I should probably apologise

So here goes:, I duly apologise for:

• Maybe even appearing to make light of the insult to the Bangladeshi community. I was genuinely appalled.
• For placing the image of Starmer in a budgie smuggler in your mind. Trust me we’re suffering together on that one.
• To Timbucktoo for suggesting such a terrible thing. We won’t send them I promise.
• For actually finding something a bit good in our beleaguered PM. But I want to give him a break. He has his own party to contend with, supporting him is humanitarian. He must have the mental health of…of…something really strong.
• For mentioning Rees-Mogg, and the images that generates.
• To watermelons, which I do in fact like a lot.
• For appearing politically biased. It’s more about a credible third party that would be powerful enough to make the others behave. When a coalition could vote you out of power you would need to be much more focused on the public, and less focused on in-fighting and undermining.
• For pointing out the following: I hear all the time there’s no point voting for the Lib Dem’s they just won’t win. There is one reason only that they don’t win. The public don’t vote for them. That’s why they have no central government experience, except their leader does. If we want real change we need to get off the Con/Lab see saw. Haven’t we had enough?
• For mentioning Rees-Mogg, at least I didn’t suggest a budgie smuggler! Imagine that with a proper jacket and tie!
• For now putting the worst of all possible sartorial images in your mind.
• For not mentioning The Farage. The activities of the people he has allowed to stand are nauseating. My sincere thoughts to the people they have offended. Genuinely. If it helps every right minded person in the UK is offended for you. Don’t let him duck this one.
• For not mentioning the England team who are at least trying, and standing by their leader. Rather than being trying.
• For not being funnier. I will do my utmost to stop my sense of humour weeping gently in a corner and get it back to its old self. However, there is a possibility that it’s more hungover than upset. I should probably remind everyone that drinking too much is not a good thing (which it is not), and if you are seek help and do everything to change what makes you unhappy. Hand on heart here and yes I may be a journalist but I do know exactly where it is. In the right place. 💖
• For tripping near the dog the other night. For standing naked in the window with the light behind me screaming “just how much more of this do we need to take?”. My wife says she will never leave the house again.
• For forgetting to tell you that Sunak’s choices of Karaoke are “I Will Survive”, “Bridge Over Troubled Water” indicating his dedication I presume. And the immortal “I Want to Know What Love Is?” (“I want you to show me”).

Long blog today. But to be honest there is a great deal to think about for all of us, and I had to at least have a go at some humour, just for my own sake let alone yours.

Clarence

I’m knackered now! Mind you, I could not sleep in the shed but the vocality, outrage, and length of my wife’s utter humiliation beyond anything any woman has had to suffer including Melania Trump, was too much.