Leader

Are you a leader or a follower?

I chose a male image as I do have a masculine energy (93% according to my birth-chart). I also have eyes like that when you really p*ss me off, which is fortunately very hard to do.

Those eyes also appear when I apparently ‘x-ray people’ and that makes them feel I instantly know everything about them. I don’t, I just really look at people and pay attention to them, I’m not a cursory person. People matter to me.

Which is why I’ve been scored off the charts as a leader.

Lead from behind

If you allow the ego to lead the team becomes about the I. Me as the leader. Then you’ll never get the best out of people by allowing them to thrive When you do that and watch (which is when that penetrating look comes in handy), you can see their strengths and work with them.

I started out as a terrible leader, fortunately I had a very good friend, older than me, who knew what he was doing. Even more fortunately, I am blessed to be a person that sat need to know all there is about everything that matters, I welcome advice that is kindly delivered. This was.

‘Advice’ as a slap down brings out the worst in me 🤣. But never helpful advice that comes across clearly as support. Important to know the difference!

Once I was straightened out lovingly I never looked back.

The has been

There was an elderly couple in the first group I led. They had been in the group since its inception, leading it, getting their hands dirty. They knew it like the bank of their hand and there was no job they couldn’t do, and well.

A few committee meetings in the lady was shouted down by younger members. I stepped in. I pointed out her vast expertise, her experience, her unparalleled knotted of both the audience and the stage. How the group wouldn’t be there were it not for her.

Then I told them in no uncertain terms that everyone in this group would be listened to, and expertise counted for as much if not more, than youth and innovation. If we blended the two were would have a group that appealed to all.

End of problem. A ‘leader’ most trait ask their troops and build the relationships to work for all.

The Night Owl

I was in a university group bringing in a project. One of our coders had a peculiar body clock, he could not sleep at night. As you may imagine, he constantly failed to turn up during the day. His co-coder was close to losing it.

Although it’s not often done outside universities, every line of vile code spills be annotated in plain language. “If yes take this action”, “Opens choice menu”, “fires off email requesting a new boss”. Kidding on that last one of course.

This means when you alter the code in the future you can clearly see the impact of your actions. Many update issues are caused by the removal of a piece of code that has implications further down.

I suggested that if they annotated the code in that way and left each other notes, one could work all day add one could work all night. It worked like a charm.

Not showing off here

Seriously, I don’t know why I was born this way, I just was. That’s the single most important thing when it comes to being with other people. Not in a leadership role. Every moment of every day, no matter whom you’re with.

See who they are. Help them play to their strengths.

Especially with children who are forced into generic education. If you love them, watch them, learn from them, and then gently guide them towards their strengths.

No one thrives doing what kills their enthusiasm.

No one ‘has to’ land up in a 9-5 office job.

Think outside the box for them. Think about them.

How woo woo can help

Psychic ability is very special providing, again, that you’re led by the person in front of you. It’s specific point is to understand strangers at a deeper level, to understand them as no one else may ever have bothered to do. To see what may be right for them.

At an event in London. A man is waiting for a reading. I told him just to come back at the right time as he looked harassed. He said no, he always missed out, he needed help, he was staying to make sure he got it as he was at the end of his tether. Turned out he was a director.

Long story short. And remember I picked this up without being told. We do not ask leading questions as some may suggest. Spoils all the fun.

His team were driving him nuts, lots of conflict, I clearly saw that two people were in the wrong roles, they connected each other’s jobs. The suggestion was to let them train each other and swap roles.

He sat back, looked at me, said “You’re so right”, gave me a brilliant review and went off to offer them a role swap.

Others are others

If you want to be a good leader:

• Understand me and not me
• Watch people
• Encourage their strengths
• And don’t be hidebound by social rules that dictate who we’re supposed to be.

Happy day

Deb xx