How do you use social media?
For a number of reasons I’ve lived an incredibly lonely life. Firstly my maternal family couldn’t treat each other decently if they tried. Dad didn’t have much of a family and mum didn’t like seeing them because they were posh. Rubbish, they were lovely.
There came a time I knew I had to change as a person and undo my childhood programming. My mentor warned me that when you change a family often won’t like it. As usual he was right. I gained far more than I lost though. I could never have respected myself if I’d carried on in the old ways. It was sad but necessary.
My husband has one of those corporate jobs that I’m grateful for. Our darling Amie’s veterinary treatment was frighteningly expensive, I’d have sold the house to save her though. We could manage it thank God, even though we lost. The trouble with his work though is that you go where the work is. The last move we made hasn’t been great. You also leave friends behind.
However, having outlined my perspective, as you may imagine…
Social media – yaaayy!
I was going to make friends! I was going to stay in contact with lots of people I knew. We were going to meet up for coffee and cake! Use social media to truly connect and make things real!
Who was I trying to kid? 🙄🤣
Instead it nearly ruined my determination to believe the best of humanity.
Now, I do know some amazing people on Facebook, but my wise mother’s words came back to haunt me big time.
She told her when I was little that you get to an age when people don’t open their lives to strangers. I laughed. That was crazy. People were wonderful. There were always new friends to meet.
Three times I’ve moved way away from my home, all but the friends like me have disappeared The people who’ve been hurt so much they truly value a person that treats them decently.
I’ve kept a friend from Glastonbury. I’ve kept a friend from Trowbridge. My Frister and her soft Yorkshire pudding (he will throttle me for that but I get to see his magic side 🤣) had two friends move to this area at the same time so they came too. Thank you God! I mean that.
But I don’t have one friend I see, who will take me out, hold my hand, and remind me that I will encompass the loss of Amie as I have the other 8. Who will listen while I talk about her so that I can lock in every single memory and render that she was real, she was mine, and I’m the luckiest person in the world. Not one person I met on social media,
And I have some lovely and greatly valued connections. So many took time to commiserate over Amie abs I know they meant it.
Perspective
Here’s the rub. My friends on there are lovely, decent, caring, people. People I’d love to know in a real way. That’s what’s always upset me.
So many sent lovely messages over Amie, only people I know are holding my hands. I literally don’t know what I’d do without Katrina and Keith, and my groups.
Social media made me lonelier. The number of lovely people I will never meet and get to know!
And now we have AI! That should never have been released to the public without limiters, but then who can stop a hacker! Admittedly, nothing is harmful in the hands of a good person.
So in all, despite how dearly I would have loved to have those wonderful people in my life in a real way, I’m lonelier.
Now I use it judiciously, I keep an eye on my friends, I hold out a hand in times of trouble. Friends I have known in other areas have held a hand out to me. That’s the good part, I haven’t lost them.
I don’t see it as a place to connect in a real way though, and that matters. If we don’t know each other, killing, cheating, scamming, each other becomes easier. Disgusting rudeness is far too easy on social media. It’s now literally killing people.
I’m grateful for the positives, and they are many, but it’s made a lot of things worse too.
Go for reality guys. It’s worth the effort.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 