This image sums up the major part of my life. My cats have been my life since I left home in 1978.
I’ve been married twice. My first husband admitted that he’d married me as cover for who he really was I was young, naïve, and could be controlled. He did that by destroying my confidence and my mind, or trying to.
My current, and lovely husband, has always had a challenging job. A great deal of responsibility towards others, 60+ hour weeks. Always tired. For thirty years my life has been his job.
As such I’ve never appeared in my life. I’ve been fire fighting, exhausting myself protecting my sanity, not thinking about what I wanted because I couldn’t have it.
I’m not complaining, I’ve been very lucky in a lot of ways and I’m aware of and grateful for that. I’ve just never been me.
I wasn’t allowed to be as a child I had to be perfect. My parents chose when I left school, using the only bad year I ever had as an excuse, they chose my first job. For a 16 year old that was the death of all hope. I was too young to be considering a career, I needed more time.
Anyway
That lot was to give you an example of the point of this post. Not being you.
If you don’t stop and think about who you are, you will never be yourself.
Yes it’s very kind to put others first all the time, but it’s not kind to you. Put yourself equal.
Think of yourself as someone valuable, as valuable as those you love, because you are.
If you give yourself away people will keep taking more of you. Not through selfishness, because you are giving you away by choice. Don’t do it.
If you have children show them a better way or they will do it too. Lead by example.
Most importantly, you have a right to be yourself, live your life, and achieve your dreams. Anyone who makes you feel that’s selfish is the selfish one.
Don’t let anyone steal your life. Be you, your way, chase those dreams.
Deb. X
Deb Hawken - Amorah 