Careful Ways

In what ways do you communicate online?

Email, social media, blogging. I also run Spiritual Empowerment Groups via Zoom. Just normal communication nowadays. Or is it communication?

What if…

We twist this question and ask instead “in what ways do you communicate on line.” Then I would say – with great caution.

Meaning?

On line I communicate as carefully as I can. I try to ensure that the words I use match my meaning, and can’t be read two or more ways. My mother used to call it “taking your words out, looking at them, reconsidering them, asking yourself how they can possibly cause offence, deciding they couldn’t, and then deciding to say nothing just in case.”

Which is probably why so many people are considering whether social media is a valid form of communication.

Niceness has its limits

Usually set by others.

The written word is a minefield because it’s two dimensional. People interpret even what seem the most obvious words completely differently. You’re probably familiar with the “You got that from that?” feeling. 

The problem is that you have two types of people, those who can discuss and those so sure they’re right they’d have gone down with the Titanic rather than believe it was sinking. 

On social media we connect with all kinds of people, whose backgrounds are a complete mystery. This is partly why I question how genuinely useful it is. 

If people know each other well and one of them snaps, you usually have a good idea which sore spot was poked. If a ‘friend’ that you’ve never met on social media snaps then you will probably just think they’re unreasonable because to you what you said was clear and didn’t mean any of that.

Friends you’ve never met, how does that work? Have you ever considered that social media isn’t about friends, it’s about gathering billions of people together and taking money for advertising, selling to them, and selling their data to other companies?

So saying, I have some wonderful and truly valued connections on there, but I don’t tell myself that I know them. I really appreciate them, couldn’t bear anything to happen to them, but I’m aware that their life is a mystery to me and I try to be mindful of that when I communicate,

No normal

We trot out the words that we are all unique, yet they mean nothing. If you truly believe that then you’ll be okay if someone disagrees with you as long as they’re courteous.

To truly communicate on social media we must remain fully aware of what we don’t know, and ask questions before we hurl insults. Maybe even accept that a person may not wish to answer those questions in such a public place, or for deeply personal reasons, so reserve judgement.

If we lose the social construct that there is a normal when it comes to communication, especially with people from different countries and backgrounds, then it may be more fun than it is at times. But the entrenched trouble makers have arrived on Threads now, which is a shame. At first it was the old Facebook with people escaping to somewhere they could be nice and receive courtesy in return. Hey ho. 

How do I communicate then? As carefully as I can. But how I wish I could actually have a conversation with these interesting people. That would be far nicer.

Deb 🤣