Lots of things

What could you do differently?

Like everyone I’m a product of my life experience and that has shaped me. As such, looking back a lot could have been done differently. But who wants to look back?

Actually a quick reflect is no bad thing as there’s a wealth of information in the past that’s useful. When people say never look back, it’s not actually that sensible a piece of advice.

Think of yourself as a computer; you know you have information somewhere so you do a search. That’s why you save important documents etc.

If life isn’t going fully to plan a quick search through the memories to see if this is an old pattern is an excellent idea. Have you had similar situations before? This will tell you if you’ve really cleared all those old habits, unhelpful thoughts, and being just like (insert relative who struggled in life). That’s a valuable and valid reason to look back.

There is a wealth of information in your past that is really useful, don’t live in the past, don’t fear the past, do use it wisely.

Particularly as you may think you’ve beaten it but in truth it’s difficult to beat it entirely because it’s still in there, you still have your memories, and the subconscious is an extremely powerful thing.

Yet who ways to eradicate the memories? The only way to do that is through a bad accident or illness – so memories can be awful – and my heart goes out to those who struggle in that way – but if you can, be glad you can remember.

For those whose memories are terrible and traumatic in the extreme, I’m not being blasé, and I pray that one day there will be real help for you. But I can only write generally. Joe Dispenza might help you take the power out of them though. https://drjoedispenza.com/.

Here and now

I’ve just been through a bit of a grey patch. Little cat not well – equals full on mother mode and constantly checking on them trying to work out what’s going on. We now have indoor cameras at the food station and litter trays which helped us work out which one we needed to take to the vets.

Also we really want to move and we can’t. Tony is closing in on retirement so moving before he retires would trap us near where he works, and we don’t want to be in that area. I’m not at my best when I can see a problem, but can’t made a decision, and carry it through.

I’m a handcuffed change-maker at the moment and that does not suit me.

So what I can change now is my mind. Now we know that Amie is diabetic and needs injections, I feel much brighter. Which obviously helps. Especially as she’s on her way back to her old self in just over a day.

It’s put not being able to move into perspective. The recent flooding in the UK has also been important information, we could have moved to some quite dodgy areas. We’ve taken them off the list.

We’ve also taken time to look back into the past, to all the places we’ve lived, and gather all the good bits together to shape the next decision.

In any moment where we know we’re the one using our own mind to undermine how we’re feeling, perhaps by confusing ourselves with a variety of noise so that we don’t have to make a decision or declutter. We have the power to change that, and we should.

Changing your own mind, becoming the person who didn’t make those mistakes in the past, or love themselves enough to walk away, is singularly the most important thing you can do.

I’m cross that I’ve let myself slip, but each group I run is always told from the outset that I’m a very human mentor not teacher, doing their best to navigate a very difficult world. In fact it’s never been more inexplicably difficult in my entire life. They also know I walk my talk.

Now the big change I’m going to make is to get myself back. That will change everything.

To being wonderfully, impossibly, ridiculously, and sometimes flakily, human.

Deb xx

Flaky is a colloquialism for feeling wobbly in yourself sometimes and that place you go to where every decision seems to have twenty options, all of them questionable. It’s another word for exhausted. 🤣💖😍😻