Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
I was raised in such a bad way, in a toxic family, I decided when I was 26 that I would rebuild myself. I would decide what a decent person was and I would become that person.
That was as a result of meeting my mentor and being introduced to critical and spiritual thinking. I was raised that my parents were right and if you disagree you were both wrong and an idiot. My dad was perfect (not his belief) knew everything, and must be pleased. Hence a few cross words from him were crushing.
He once asked me who put him on that pedestal, I thought about it and said mum, he said “thank you because I have vertigo and it’s never been a comfortable place for me”. Trouble was he couldn’t stand up to her.
I’ve concluded since that the three sisters were three of the most damaged, jealous, toxic people I’ve ever met and they did tremendous emotional damage in their lives. I try to be compassionate and understanding, but if I have achieved my dream I an emphatically nothing more than a good human. Doing my best but failing sometimes.
So saying, they also all had very nice sides, were witty and amusing to be with, and people you could easily love and like. Their damage was tragic, went deep, based on feelings of worthlessness, and ruined their lives. In truth I loved my mum, I adored my aunt Diana, and found my aunt Vera an amazing woman that I could very much admire. We all have several sides don’t we?
For me their story reminds me of the cost of emotional damage and how contagious it is. Perhaps the message is:
Think very hard before you decide you’re right, and then conclude that you’re probably not. There will be things you don’t know driven by things you and other people don’t remember.
Process = progress?
Tests have shown that people can accurately repeat things they heard in the womb. They can share accurate memories from before they were born. Hypnotherapists will tell you it’s all still in there. Everything you’ve forgotten.
As such we don’t fully know what drives us. How we became who we are, or why. We think we’re ourselves and in truth we’re a mess of things half heard, not understood, and that has everything to do with the generations before us.
The ancestral line has a great deal to answer for and your problems could have started 1000 years ago. Your ancestor could have been the person who didn’t yell ‘duck’ to King Harold (1066), or the person who delivered Hitler safely. Or a billion tiny things that add up.
We are a process that starts with generations of training in a sperm and an egg and builds from there.
Rebuild
I decided what it meant to be a decent person. At first I had a complex list, then I did what I always do:
“Simplify, simplify, simplify again. Is it as simple as you can make it? (“Yes.”) Then simplify again.” Amos
That is the teaching of a very wise, loving, and kind spirit guide, who does not deal in airy-fairy. He deals in practicality and everyday living. So I decided to bring my rebuilding plan down to one word:
Kindness
A much maligned word. A word seen as weakness by peole who think they’re strong.
It takes balls of steel to be kind in this world.
Not slamming people up against a wall and screaming “how can you in your pathetic, tiny, pointless minds ever think attacking someone from behind with a machete, beating up a pensioner, raping a woman, attacking LGBTQI people, or those of ANY colour (yes that includes white people), abusing animals, is anything but the most pathetic show of weakness available to humanity?” Takes everything I’ve got at times
Don’t get me started on war and holding onto grudges for centuries, what happened in the past was wrong but lord knows that’s been compounded a million times since.
As you can see I chose a big word with many layers.
Decency; tolerance; compassion; understanding; respect; inclusion; BEING. And more.
Talking kind doesn’t cut it. Actions and words must match. It boils down to:
Do good or do nothing. Speak respectfully or stay silent. Be who you say you are.
Any politicians listening?
That’s what I try to do, and I sincerely hope that people trust that. I really am doing my best to change the world by example.
Your help would be great. Please. 💖💖🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 