When Youth Has Gone

My latest poem, Softly, triggered this idea. The line was “It’s worth holding on when youth is gone.” That part is about long term relationships.

It triggered the recollection of my 90 year old grandmother saying she still felt 30, and my mother saying the same thing. The body ages but the person doesn’t. After all, your soul is thousands of years old so 50, 60, 70+ years on the clock is a drop in the ocean of time.

Just a personal opinion, but I strongly believe that what ages most people is mindset. As such I refuse to say ‘in my day’, even though that’s hard as my youth was a rare time of peace in this world.

I refuse to sigh at the younger generation, I once pointed out to my mother that they probably did that in Elizabethan (the first Elizabeth) times, and every generation has done that since, and every generation will in future. It’s aging and younger people are doing exactly what we did, the best they can for the people they are at the time.

Staying young

It really is a mindset, and it’s important that you watch your thoughts and words, the moment you start thinking old, think about something nice. The moment you start sounding old, stop!

None of us know how much time we have on this planet, and allowing yourself to age at 40 could mean you’ll be frustrated and angry for a very long time. Possible 60 years the way things are going.

Red flags

Some things to beware of (this is not an exhaustive list):

• Muttering about the youth of today: Inside you’re still one of them. Believe that.
• Harking back to in my day: This is still your day, own it!
• Saying young people today don’t know how lucky they are:
  
  Your parents probably said that too, you probably hated it. Besides, they’re not lucky it’s a tough world out there for them.
• Refusing to try new things:
  
  Don’t become fearful of stepping outside your comfort zone, that contributes highly to the idea of ageing that becomes ageing.
• Listening to the same old music.
• Treating technology like the antichrist:
  
  It’s here, overpower it! You’ve coped with every new invention so far, you can do this – and Google will tell you how!
• I can’t take in new information:
  
  You can you have plenty of experience of learning and capacity for new learning. I started to tell myself that I couldn’t remember routes without a sat nav, I stopped that straight away, don’t say no to your memory. Memory is easier when you’re young as you’re still in the learning stage of life, in the later stages of life…keep learning and you’ll keep your memory. My latest is that I can print out a blank map of America and name all the states…in the right places.
• Saying no to experiences:
  
  In the UK a few years ago a lady of 80 decided that she would have a new experience on every birthday from then on, as she was already old so had little to lose. She sky-dived on that birthday, went down to the Titanic on her 90th birthday, and I also recall a wing walk. She popped up on the news once a year doing something different. Boy that woman lived her older years and went out on a high.
• Saying no! That word has to be used judiciously.
• Finding all the old films and programmes on TV: New stuff is quite remarkable.
• Most importantly:
  
  Practice not going ‘ooff’ when you sit down and groaning when you get up. It’s so ageing.
• Even more importantly:
  
  Life has moved forward since the day you were born, you’ve kept up so far and there’s no reason you can’t keep on keeping up, you have decades of experience.
• Finally, rebel whenever possible:
  
  Again, you have decades of experience in doing your own thing, if the younger generation suggest you shouldn’t try something, access your inner teenager and tell them that’s the best reason you can think of to do just that. Your inner teenager is highly experienced in these matters, your inner two-year-old will be truly terrifying by now.
  
  Never worry your family, but by the same token, teach them how to age youthfully. They’ll thank you one day.
  
  I thank my nan everyday, the woman never quit. When she died at 87 her daughters found loads of new clothes in her wardrobe, all carefully covered in plastic, ready for when she escaped the nursing home. She never did, but that independence, stubbornness, and hope kept her alive.
  
  The ladies in the nursing home had a field day when mum and auntie went in to clear out her things, they all went off with new outfits. Ready for when they escaped? Maybe not, but new clothes and looking good still meant something to them. That’s as youthful a piece of inspiration as you could ever hope for, right there. Look good – feel good!

This is still your world – conquer it!

Deb xx