What’s the first impression you want to give people?
I’ve never considered this for a second. I’m an open book, a genuine person, I can’t lie and I can’t pretend.
WYSIWYG
Many years ago when Windows came out it was the first WYSIWYG display on a computer. What You See Is What You Get. A piece of writing could be laid out with paragraphs, and when you printed it out that’s how it would look. I’m a WYSIWYG person.
I’m also not perfect, yet since the day I was born people have expected that from me. As you may imagine, they’ve been disappointed, and pointing out that I’m only human seems to confuse them. I’m sure many of you will empathise.
When people meet a decent person they seem to not want to believe that’s possible I’ve concluded that many people live a life of pretence because they’re scared to be wrong – probably upbringing – so if you don’t pretend you’re just confusing and they don’t believe a thing about you.
Trust yourself
No matter how hard you try with people, if they’re not going to like you they won’t, if they’re not going to believe you they won’t. I had to close a spiritual group because I had to highlight a difficult situation around lack of confidentiality. The story was super-simple, but they believed there was more and kept demanding that I told them the whole truth, I couldn’t because I already had, there was nothing else.
I also couldn’t see why one of them talking about another person to someone else outside the group wasn’t sufficient for me to want to put an immediate stop to it. Talk to me or no one. One person particularly was so nasty, I just closed the group.
It’s was horrible situation, but I would have had to lie to say more. It was a shock that absolute honesty, the truth people say they want to be told, was being dismissed out of hand.
First impressions?
Here is the personal advice of a mid-60 year old spiritual thinker who just wants the best for people.
No matter what impression you try to give you will always be what other people decide they see. I’ve been very popular when I’m useful and dropped like a red hot brick when I’m not. Sound familiar?
So be you, your way, fearlessly. No one is perfect, and most humans are far too hard on themselves.
It will pay dividends because you will attract the loveliest friends. Real people will ‘see’ you. Those who don’t, don’t want to see.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 