The similarity between you and the Holy Roman Empire.
That was the original title of a piece of my very old writing that I re-discovered at the weekend, by finally opening the huge box of notes I’d made, poems I’d forgotten, and things I must have known I would eventually tear up and put in the (then non-existent) recycling bin. Undoubtedly this came from my study of history.
It goes like this:
Since 1500 AD all the empires that could warrant listing under the title of The Great Powers have managed to fall flat on their collective, international faces. China, the Mongols, the Ottomans, the Romans, even good old Britain itself, have all managed to lose their top ranking as world conquerors. The world is a better place for it.
You’re probably wondering what on earth this has to do with you. When it comes to the human psyche and our fear of not knowing, it has quite a lot to do with it.
Why they collapsed
It’s generally accepted that once these empires reached the top and believed that they were the best, knew the best, and were therefore invincible, they closed their minds to new development, grew insular, and collapsed. Manchurian scholars feared trade because they didn’t understand it, so they closed it down and waved goodbye to their empire. That’s only one example, as with all things the reasons differ in their similarities. Drawbridge up. Change nothing.
Smaller European countries and principalities survived because they needed to compete, and be open to those new ideas, philosophies, ways of working, and means of development.
Our personal empire
Individuals are similar in as much as many of us are scared. Scared not to know something. Scared to let others be. Scared we may not be the best. Frightened of life. Frightened we may not be clever enough, sufficiently skilled, terrified we may not be the best. These emotions often leave us afraid to embrace new ideas in case, pause to gather myself, that we might be wrong. It’s especially upsetting if we discover that things we passionately believe in are wrong. Our beliefs form such a strong part of our sense of self.
To protect our psyche we won’t allow the idea that it’s us who need to change, it’s them, not our fault theirs, not who we are, who they are. We are right and they are wrong, just because (of no known reason). Consequently we close our minds to new ideas, stubbornly believe we know best, and have the answer to all life’s problems. In order to protect our certainty we become insular.
Whilst we may not collapse as spectacularly as an empire, we still stunt our growth, close the doors to opportunities, insist we’re happy as we are, where we are, even whilst our faces and attitude give us away.
Avoidance practice
This is quite easy really:
- Don’t be scared not to know – not knowing is fun, learning keeps your mind alive.
- Don’t feel diminished if you don’t know best – it’s a huge world out there with billions of uniquely different people in it, books you haven’t read, careers you’ve never heard of, and discoveries you may never encounter. Knowing best can make you a bore, adventurers of the mind are often fascinating people.
- Embrace the different – anything that challenges you to think again is good. If you know nothing about whatever it is, find out. If you’re in another country sit down with the locals and learn about their lives, read as much as you can about what interests you. You’ll be a favourite addition to any dinner party. Elderly, fixed, windbag, or someone out there, living their lives, building new knowledge, who has fascinating stories to tell. I’d invite you!
- Be prepared to be flexible and change – don’t think of your character as fixed, it isn’t, you can change how you think and react any time you wish. Don’t think of any decision as being forever, no matter what it says in the marriage service or your contract, if it’s not working for you change, flex, move on. I’m not casually tossing marriages/partnerships out of the window, but in truth if you’re with someone you don’t love, you’re stealing their future happiness. The right person could be out there fore both of you.
- Remember that if vast empires and economies can collapse due to fear and closed minds, then one person certainly can.
Do you know what’s outside your comfort zone? It’s your adventure zone. If you want to thrive not survive, take one step from everything is certain, to what are the potentials and possibilities. Then hopefully you won’t need to build an empire on the uncertain footings of fear, and bring about your own collapse.
I did it, you can. Go find happiness.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 