What skill would you like to learn?
So far. I’m always open to new learning and that’s one skill I’m glad I have at a mature age.
Broad brushstroke?
Happiness sounds a bit like that doesn’t it? A major, undefined, maybe unrealistic catch-all. It isn’t.
It’s the single most important word in the English language, and that comment translates into every language.
It’s importance cannot be over-stated.
Think about it. You say the word love to people yet find many excellent reasons – in your own head – why what you want is best for them? But love is a bit nebulous.
If you really, really, want something it’s only too easy to sincerely believe that it’s best for others too. Especially if you’re the main wage earner.
If you genuinely love someone it’s only too easy to want to do everything you can to make them happy. I’ve done that for my amazing husband, and it was entirely wrong for me.
I’m not complaining, never complain at the choices you made or agreed to make, that’s 100% on you, whether it feels that way or not. He didn’t ask me to do that.
I did what I did for the best reasons, with the wrong focus, not realising that I needed to hold a steady line and use the word no, after an appropriate length of negotiation, and in most cases, refuse to further discuss it. It would have done us both more good. I genuinely had his best interests at heart. I would have been right. He would have retired a decade ago.
Focus
If you focus on what will make you happy the decision will be right. If you don’t know what makes you happy then wait until something feels right. As with happiness, feelings are a much underestimated super-power.
Test everything against happiness. Think of it as a God-given superpower and compass. Showing you clearly what will and will not work for you.
I can’t emphasise those last two words strongly enough. We can never pretend to be happy, the lie will be written all over us. If you don’t choose happiness the best life you will live is an okay one with great moments.
Don’t teach your children that. I’m a product of my past. We all are. If your past made you unhappy do everything to break the mould, eradicate the parents, and change your stars.
Badminton
This is a skill and one I’d like to be more proficient in, especially returning high, overhead shots, not serving under the net, not seeing the shuttlecock coming at me, thinking “ah…a shuttlecock is coming towards me…I need to return that…It’s coming in over there…I should perhaps move now” sound of dull thud.
I really love Badminton and it makes me happy, which of course helps me with perfecting the life skill of actually according happiness.
Happiness is a skill driven by choice, self awareness, self honesty, and action. Learn it well.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 