What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
This came from my much missed mentor and friend, Keith Macfarlane:
When in doubt, don’t.
I’ve followed this for the last 39 years, and I’ve realised that it works in two ways.
Firstly, better to do nothing until you know what you want to do.
It saves valuable time undoing even more chaos. I knew I shouldn’t marry my first husband, but I was under so much pressure from delighted families (except my dad who knew), that I ignored the doubts.
Secondly, watch the doubt because you can talk yourself in circles actually creating doubt.
I always ask myself whether I’m really in doubt, or am I scared to take a step.
Gut instinct v intuition
These are two different but closely related human abilities.
Gut instinct is that strong, visceral, physical reaction to an idea, that tells you your body has tensed up or filled with joy at the very thought.
Intuition is your higher or soul self coming in, sometimes apparently illogically, with the wisdom of the ages programmed into the stardust in your genes. Plus the intimate knowing of your human self and needs that are stored at your soul level.
Ignore both at your peril.
Technique
Doubt 😱
Check the gut – does it agree?
Check your intuition – what’s that still small voice saying?
Go to your heart, what do you feel? It has more brain cells than the brain and keeps it informed of your true feelings so your brain can tell you. (See http://www.heartmath.org)
Check the logic.
Check you’re not scared to take a step forward.
If the gut isn’t happy, your intuition is twanging, your heart isn’t happy. Wait until you come up with something that pleases them all.
Then check the logic adds up – this is the real world after all.
If you’re still creating mental doubt you’re probably a bit nervous that you can’t do this. In which case the final step is:
Pigeon steps.
Small step, test. Next step, test. Tune into the ultimate goal, are you on track? If ‘yes definitely on every level’:
One giant leap for humankind!
Deb xx
Wow, this is some hardcore experience based advice. Thanks for sharing!
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Bless you. And tell me about it! My childhood was emotionally messed up and didn’t set me up to be a decision-maker. In my youth your parents were right. Unbelievable now.
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Just followed your blog but for some reason I can’t comment using the JetPack app. I would like inspiration for simple, well balanced meals, that are quick to cook. My best writing time is 4-7 pm. Hence i suddenly raise its getting too late to eat. I’m gluten free and can’t do spices. My childhood diet suited me, meat, potatoes, 2 veg. But I’m not a great fan of meat, would prefer to be veggie, but for some reason i need meat once a week. I’m at a bit of a loss diet wise.
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Great advice.
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Thank you. Learned the hard way.
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