Celebrate?

How do you celebrate holidays?

Coming from the UK, a holiday is when you pack a toothbrush and some underwear (plus the rest of the house and 12 extra pairs of knickers in case of emergencies), and go away for an extended period of time.

Longer than a weekend break, but shorter than emigrating. Usually about two weeks unless you’re very wealthy, but then is it a holiday if you’re at another home somewhere? Maybe, rich as they are, they rarely have a holiday. 🤷‍♀️

Authorised Holidays

When it comes to the ones where you can only be made to work if you’re in the caring industry, my father worked both days for 13 straight Christmases, it depends on your religion.

As a British Christian I wouldn’t say we celebrate anymore. I’m sure some families do, but I haven’t had a family for years, and friends tend to turn towards family, wishing you a Merry Christmas then asking you afterwards if you had a great time.

With the state of my family, a toxic ex, and hubby being a New Zealander who informed me that he didn’t celebrate Christmas when we met, Christmas became synonymous with excruciating loneliness for me.

I had to wait

I always said that I wouldn’t know if I still had a brother until both my parents were gone. I never really understood what went on as I was always told that we didn’t get on. Yet after my mother died I was going through the family photos and there we were, together, over and over again.

Not just in the same photo. Laughing, playing, rock pooling. He’d lost his football, I’m running after it. Taking it back. My favourite is of us crouched down stroking a sheepdog on the farm where we used to stay, chatting away. There’s so much closeness and respect, despite the 7 year gap, screaming from that photo.

Fortunately, when they moved house, bro decided to keep the old projector out and finally sort out hundreds of slides. He saw the same thing and called me. it was one of the best days of my life, especially as I love his wife and kids. I have a second great nephew to meet soon.

Commercialism

Easter is about chocolate eggs in this country unless you’re a churchgoer. I stopped that years ago as I didn’t (personally) believe in the people (at the time). But my belief in God is unshakeable, and I never forget to thank Jesus at Easter for showing us how to stand up for what is right. I never forget to thank God at Christmas either, for sending us that strong and courageous message.

If you have a social concern “what would Jesus do?” Is always a very good question. He would do something.

In truth my belief in a God force energy is what’s got me though this life, together with the miracles that can only have come in from a higher source. There is simply no other explanation.

Not a cheery answer

I wish it was, I wish I had a million great stories. But I’m actually okay with where I am.

Many people I know dread Christmas for all kinds of reasons, family tensions, in laws, hours of driving, royal commands from mother. I don’t have that.

My heart goes out to the too many people who will understand this blog. But I hope you can find peace with where you are. Joy in your heart. Love in your life. Perhaps by remembering that the true meaning of Christmas and Easter is not family, not food, not eggs and presents. It’s God.

Or by remembering that at least loneliness is not toxic. Plus you can move from being alone to being comfortable with peace, quiet, and a few good friends. Start there. I was literally alone. I lost everything and everyone except two cats. If I sorted my life out so can you.

I’m probably coming across as a Bible basher, but in truth my beliefs would turn most of the clergy’s hair white. Especially as we’re all a spark of the divine with our own personal link to all that is. Live that way and the only option is kindness and happiness. I feel like I live inside a huge hug.

So there it is. I look forward to reading the answers of people with different life experiences. Thanks to my life experience I’m very happy with what probably sounds extremely sad. It isn’t. What happened was right. Including getting my brother back. I’m very blessed and always have been.

As always, if you’re struggling, I’m not without some helpful, but highly unusual, techniques that will help. You know where I am.

It’s a beautiful world if you seek the beauty, live in the now, and consciously create your own future.

Deb xx