I sit on a beach of mythical beauty
The sand melts against my skin
The sea is calm
Almost lazy
Birds sing in harmony
Flowers flower freely
Palm fronds wave to someone I cannot see
Nothing disturbs the soft lines of time
I wait quietly
Absorbing
Feeling
I could remain forever
Under the benevolent mantle of this smiling day
Behind me a path slithers over a hill
I am drawn to this stony course but
Should I climb its unknown byways?
Why leave?
Why now?
Gravity draws me upwards
I climb
All dream and spiked awareness
An amorphous veil draws across my heaven
The beach is gone
In front of me there is a house
Old
Coy
Dilapidated
Broken soul-less windows reflect nothing
I know this house
I push feebly at the rusting iron gate
It opens silently
I plough through weeds that clutch and tear
But cannot detain me
The façade is obscured by ivy
Creeping
Clinging
Invasive
My progress hampered by its grasping fingers
But not halted
The door confronts me
I lean against the peeling wood
And it swings on drunken hinges
I enter
I know this filth-strewn decaying carcass
I know the stench behind each closed door
I ascend the stairs one tread at a time
To Hades
There is a single open door
I won’t go in
A child’s bed confronts me
Decaying with time
Rotten sheets and yellowing lace specked with mould
Nothing else
Is this my life?
I run
Sick and dizzy with remembrance
Descending blindly from this private hell
The floor fades where my feet touch
At last I am outside
I turn to slam the door
It is closed
I run away with the feeling that I have done this before
Did I know this house?
Do I know this house?
Will I ever come here again?
Am I dreaming?
Or am I awake at last?
Deb Hawken
1997
Published by debdancingstarhawken7
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, when I finally found methods that helped me to put it behind me. My struggles led to me exploring life through poetry, then plays, and over a 15 year period I made notes for a self help book which I published in 2015. Details on the book page. Although I am a psychic medium and loved the work, it didn’t feel right for me. It was an utter privilege, but my path was the exploration of what it means to be spirit in the real world and how we can make practical use of those abilities. Nowadays I write, blog, and teach soul-centred living, which is a gentle way of undoing past programming and connecting to your essential self, or soul. If you’re interested email me and we can chat. No pressure, it’s right for you or it’s not and you will know. The groups meet on line so no going out on cold, wet, winter’s evenings. On a personal note, I’m based in the UK. Married with five cats, no children, and four grandchildren, thanks to our inherited daughter, who has gifted us four beautiful little people that bring us such joy. Hope you enjoy the blogs. Deb xx
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Deb Hawken - Amorah 