I have fallen in love
The killing time is just beginning
The days of joy/pain
Loss/gain
The love
The silent telephone
The kisses - the parting,
The laughter - the sorrow
I am in love
The killing time is now
Visions shattered
Dreams uncovered
Decaying in the wastes of reality
The hopes and expectations
Laid bare by the truth
A part of me
Dying
Am I in love?
The killing time continues
Have I lost me?
Love is supposed to be great joy
Highs and higher
Not lows and lower
But joy is pierced by the knife of knowledge
Embedded in my heart
I was in love
The killing time escalates
Remember the good times
Remember the feeling of dying
One molecule at a time
Losing my grip on reality
My sense of self
I am in love.
Again.
The killing time begins
I have had these highs before
I have known these lows before
But now I have - me
I will not allow you under my skin
Into my heart
My soul
My self
Until we're both sure
That we belong in those places
I am not afraid to be in love
So the killing time is over
I have you
You have me
Yet you will never have me
Nor I you
We can lose each other
But we cannot lose our 'selfs'
Because there is only the self
And that cannot be lost
No matter what happens next
We will both be whole
The loving time has begun
Deb Hawken
August 2007
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, when I finally found methods that helped me to put it behind me. My struggles led to me exploring life through poetry, then plays, and over a 15 year period I made notes for a self help book which I published in 2015. Details on the book page. Although I am a psychic medium and loved the work, it didn’t feel right for me. It was an utter privilege, but my path was the exploration of what it means to be spirit in the real world and how we can make practical use of those abilities. Nowadays I write, blog, and teach soul-centred living, which is a gentle way of undoing past programming and connecting to your essential self, or soul. If you’re interested email me and we can chat. No pressure, it’s right for you or it’s not and you will know. The groups meet on line so no going out on cold, wet, winter’s evenings. On a personal note, I’m based in the UK. Married with five cats, no children, and four grandchildren, thanks to our inherited daughter, who has gifted us four beautiful little people that bring us such joy. Hope you enjoy the blogs. Deb xx
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Deb Hawken - Amorah 