We need to move to a place where we automatically offer respect, understanding, tolerance, and kindness, until someone else convinces us we’re wasting a lot of good energy on them. Then we don’t change, we simply move on.
It is not a big ask in this world to ask for decent treatment unless you behave indecently!
Judgement
There are two aspects to judgement:
- “Judge not lest ye be judged. For with the same judgment you pronounce, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Bible, modern version.
- I had a saying years ago that I can’t find now, that if you accept the judgement of others ‘it’s your will to do so for the experience’. I just can’t find it on line.
The thing with judgement is that if you must use it, it should come after you know someone, and also after you’ve asked them why they are the way they are. Why something that wouldn’t upset you upsets them. Why they’re reacting that way? Why they don’t want to live the same sort of life. Why they’re always late. Why they’re paranoid about being early.
I recall one classic judgement of a friend when I was young. She and her husband didn’t want to tell people that they were struggling to conceive, so they said they didn’t want children at the moment. They were called selfish. Clearly they cared more about money, possessions, career, and holidays. The faces of those speakers when one day they cracked and told the truth were a picture. They didn’t know where to put themselves and rightly so.
The point is that the couple didn’t need to explain themselves at all
If we’re going to create a happier world and healthier society on the mental health front, then we need to automatically choose to treat each other well. Discuss when we’re not sure what’s happening. Walk away if relationships don’t work.
But never ever judge
Even they may not know why they are the way they are, so you certainly won’t.
To happiness for all
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 