She was me
That’s how it was
I am her
And that’s how it is
Mother and daughter
Daughter and mother
Friends first and foremost
Never to be separated
When she left I left
But I stayed
And I know that she would want me
To be happy in this life
“No matter” she would say
“No matter what”
She too lost people
But she never lost herself
As I will never lose me
In her memory or in her eyes
Or my own
I will be the daughter she knew
I will be the happiness she craved
I will be the mother she admired
And the woman she wanted me to be
I will always make her proud
Just by getting up in the morning
And living my day
By smiling
By singing in the shower
By giggling at the absurdities of life
By loving and giving
And receiving
Because she was special and deserving
And I am her
By shining like a star
As she did
I honour her
An in so doing
I honour me
As she would wish
Deb Hawken
October 2016
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Published by debdancingstarhawken7
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.
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Deb Hawken 