What life lesson did you learn too late?
But they all arrived at the right time. You change and develop at your own speed. Yes you can look back and say ‘I should have realised’ but that’s with X more years of experience behind you. Never forget…
You did the best you could as the person you were at the time
Second guessing the past is pointless. It’s just a way to beat yourself up pointlessly.
Live – Learn – Apply in the present
It’s the only method that stops you repeating broken patterns.
Snap but not broken
My medical condition is a direct result of repeating a trained broken pattern. Never forget that as a child the struggling adults around you, most doing their very best, trained you in your foibles. Don’t look back and blame them either unless we’re talking about crime.
I now realise that my father almost certainly had some sort of nervous breakdown. In that day-and-age even the title insinuated that you couldn’t cope.
Yet that man took more blows before he was 40 that would bring anyone to their knees, than you could shake a stick at. An olde English saying and I have no idea what it means.
Yet he remained upright, kept going, and spent his later career in the London Ambulance Service saving lives. He didn’t know he had anxiety, that probably because of my grandfather who was like a father to him (add thoughtlessly died), it took the form of medical anxiety. He was prescribed Valium and left to get on with it.
I blamed him for mine when I was younger, but I don’t now. He did do a couple of really stupid things, but, if this makes sense, in a world where mental health was a stigma and not discussed, he would never have thought that I had a similar character and would struggle in the same way. As did my brother. It wasn’t a discussion.
Not only did I not break – I had the information available to heal it
Different day different outcome.
Which is why there’s no point looking back – change comes in the present when you drive it, and choose to look to the future in a new way.
Ago the time you’re here things can improve, it’s never too late to feel better. I’m 69, it happened to me this year, I’m a different person. I know it’s true and the feeling is even more wonderful and miraculous at this age!
Waiting this long to feel good is doubly precious and a million times more appreciated.
I would have none of this were it not for the past. I’ve finally learned not to blame it.
Best love
Amorah – Deb
