What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
My mother told me that as soon as I could speak I made comments way above my pay grade. She often defended me to adults saying “the child is right”. I just knew things.
I can’t say I was different to other children, there are many commonalities in this world, many developed souls on this planet. What I can say is that I’ve been out of step all my life.
However, when anyone is different for any reason they often land up being undermined by those around them. Taken down a peg or two.
Someone once said to me that I thought I was special and needed taking down that peg or two, I replied “then you’d better get a shovel to dig me up first!” That was how it felt to be me.
Apparently very talented with some sort of spark, constantly fighting for my sanity and defending myself.
Many of you know that Amorah means loving light. That’s who I was when I was born. An easy child to raise. Could be reasoned with. Respectful. Could amuse myself for hours. Could see through adults like a window.
I still can, but what may surprise you is that I see so much more good than the people I’m looking at see. People tell me they’re bad, stupid, thick, make terrible decisions, deserve the abuse they’ve received. I say no because I do not see that.
I’ve never met a person I couldn’t like. However, I’ve tolerated too much that’s affected me because I see the truth in them and wait for them to see it. Sadly sometimes they don’t, which has cost me.
That last line puts this into perspective, not some sort of walking saint, just a person who can see the soul and is stupid enough to let the human do too much damage trying to prove me wrong.
You see alongside seeing the true beauty of their soul, I can also see the damage they’re doing to themselves. I’ve learned to pay more attention to that now and not be so determined to help. I have said recently, I can’t help you but I wish I could. Then I walked away and could breathe again.
The answer is my soul…
I’ve realised that I’ve been losing my spiritual connection. Getting involved with the medical profession and doing as I’m told was so alien. I started to do what I was told too much and didn’t listen to my body.
A lightbulb came on a couple of days ago, I remembered how I trust the messages of my body. When I was given chemotherapy tablets I felt immediately wonderful. I knew they’re exactly right for me, and the improvements have stunned the medics. And me. I felt completely myself again and there were visual changes to support that, unexpected ones.
However, I also had another issue, and I didn’t listen to me. Boy I paid for that! I am listening now and realise that I can’t afford not to live on two levels: Both human and spirit.
Nor can you.
Everyone should know themselves, respect themselves, trust themselves.
Otherwise you’re just that ping pong ball in life, and everyone else has the bat.
Best love
Amorah – Deb
