What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?
People laugh at those who determinedly pursue happiness. Say it’s not possible to be happy all the time which is true. However, if life isn’t hurling curve balls at you then why not aim to be as happy as you can?
We know stress makes people mentally and physically ill, and can actually kill you. Either with a serious stress-related illness, or because you lose the will to live. Why embrace stress?
When a situation arises that causes stress, anxiety, tension, as it has with me, accept the stress as a normal reaction to a difficult time. Don’t attach to it, it’s part of the process.
Anything that hits your finances is going to be very stressful, again, instead of fighting it accept it as a right reaction.
We can tie ourselves in knots over it, or we can realise we have a right to be upset, give ourselves a bit of time, then work out what we’re going to do.
In case I sound insensitive
My husband lost his job just over a year ago. It wiped an unbelievable amount of money out of our budget overnight. I was already retired, so he was the only wage earner. Although it was redundancy and he’d been there a long time, and we got a generous payout, we were only covered for six months. It was scary.
Added to that he was just about to turn 65, so another job wasn’t a shoe-in. He did get another job but lost 1/3 of his wages. Our comfortable retirement went out the window. We’ll be okay, but it’s seriously curtailed. – at the moment, barring a nice financial surprise.
And why can’t that happen?
I was diagnosed with a condition I never wanted to be diagnosed with, no one would, in April. The medical profession can’t cure it but they’re keeping people in good health for years with the treatment I’m on.
My first thought? Good that gives us time for a breakthrough. There was one for my condition this month! It won’t help me as far as I know, but I’m over the moon for those it will help, and what next?
In both situations we were scared, upset, and in my case a bit overwhelmed by all the appointments etc. But I’m beyond grateful for the opportunity, the medical team in its entirety, and for having fallen into a hospital full of Earth Angels. They are so kind.
I feel absolutely blessed.
A tidy bow to finish
Having demonstrated that I’m not a woo-woo do-gooder, away with the fairies, who doesn’t understand reality. I hope that you can be comfortable with the idea that unhappiness is always a choice, except in specific circumstances.
I have never lost a person or pet and been singing away happily the next day. I’ve been stunned, broken, devastated, and utterly lost for weeks on end before it began to ease.
But I always remind myself how lucky I was to have them in my life, that I even though I will never stop missing them, I am better off because I knew them, and as soon as I can I try to dredge up all the good memories and focus on them.
I don’t want anyone or any pet I loved, to be consigned to a vault of misery in my heart, and only remembered with tears and agony. They meant so much more. They were a gift for however long they were able to be here, and that’s how they should be remembered.
My baby brother is causing a lot of worry at the moment, but no matter what, he is here. I sat next to him on his birthday and he held my hand for ages. It was the best moment. Right now he is here and life is good.
Hope those thoughts might help. Remember though:
Best love
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 