I Am Who You Meet

How would you describe yourself to someone?

Each human being decides who another person is based on their own perspective on life.

I won’t be alone in the fact that over my lifetime people have told me many things that I can’t find when I look inside.

My ex husband was a gaslighter who told me that no one liked me, if I had a great evening with people he would say they were only being polite as I bored them.

In the ambulance service admin people would come into the office and tell me to stop panicking, I would reply that I wasn’t panicking and they would say yes you are. I was not panicking.

The job was highly pressured to time limits that, if you didn’t get your job done on time, you would affect the entire team. I was simply working very fast to deliver to the planning officers everything they needed in a timely manner.

Get one cancellation that took one patient out of an ambulance journey and you might have to rejig three routes because one no longer made efficient sense. It was a complex job and they had to get their part done so that the telex operators could get the work sent to 6 ambulance stations by 4 pm latest, so that they could tear a massive sheet up into single vehicle journeys. Then make up a booklet for themselves so that they knew where everyone was in a day.

Those are just two examples.

The right to self-definition

So apart from the fact that I’m a writer, a cats mum, and blessed with very dear friends, I don’t tend to say much about myself.

For a start I’m still learning. Secondly, psychic mediumship either scares people, convinces them you’re deluded, or intrigues them and you land up at a party doing readings. You can’t say no when people need help.

I don’t have a day job to talk about. I’m interested in politics which would get me thrown out of most rooms. I mean, who’s interested in something that rules every aspect of your life? I am. My bad. 🤣

Then there’s the worst thing ever! No, not axe murderer…

Yes that!

The real me?

Kind. Scatty. Bored with unkindness. Driven to distraction by people who won’t just talk to you if they feel you’ve upset them. How else can you put it right?

Actually loves people as much as cats. Joined the new political party in the UK as I might as well try to use this interest. I’m bored with the others and cannot see how Jeremy Corbyn was dumped for antisemitism when there were so many photos of him at rally’s protesting.

I’ve never voted Labour, the media flatly refuse to promote the Lib Dems for some reason lost in the annals of history. So why not?

I’m straight, a thing people have often told me I’m not but they are wrong. Very wrong. I’m just polite when I tell you what I think.

I have no truck with rudeness, I despise trolling.

If I say I’m there for you, I am. I will even risk losing a friend to try to save them.

Am I perfect? Emphatically not. Nor do I try to be because perfection is never truth and it’s also confusing.

I was raised by a lovely dad, who would be the first to point out his humanity to you. My mother, however, saw him as perfect and that set an impossible standard for myself and my brother which left us in a permanent place of failure. My mum was lovely too. Just human.

Perfection is overrated and impossible.

Best description? I am a member of the human race and everything that entails. I hate to see people unhappy and have soul groups on line to try and help with that. If I say I’m your friend I am. I believe there should be world peace.

I also have a very wicked but dry sense of humour. I love chocolate, and cats, and dogs, and lions and tigers and elephants and fish and bees, and and and…

I’m just a big softie wrapped in a female body with a mind that thinks like a man, a heart full of love, and a mind full of crap at times. Sometimes though it calms down and focuses on feeling good.

Then I’m just happy.

Big love

Deb xx