I didn’t picture anything

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

We’re in a weird trap at the moment. One a lot of people would like to be in. Yet oddly it is a trap.

My husband works for a start up company with great potential. They’re doing well and adding to their numbers regularly. When it reaches its potential everyone there in the beginning will add a nice amount to their retirement fund. It’s an eco company that’s doing a lot to help with a huge environmental issue.

He’s three years from retirement. So this brilliant opportunity is also a trap for him and everyone in his position. Not one they’re complaining about. It has comfy armchairs as it were and coffee on tap. But a trap nonetheless.

We can’t move house which we’d very much like to do. We can’t visualise where we’d like to live because we haven’t found the place yet. It’s complicated by three sets of people we’d like to be near living at three different points of a large triangle.

I never expected that something like this could work against you for a very long time before it got good. One word – Covid.

Location location

We moved to our current area to find him work. There was nothing coming up in Somerset, or Nottingham where we wanted to live. We had a good friend there. We knew someone.

I wasn’t worried about this area because I knew quite a few people from Facebook and I thought that they would be happy to get together, make the connection real, and perhaps help someone who was up here alone with a recently dead mother. One did and I’ll always be a grateful to her.

I think of social media now as a place where I don’t know some very lovely people. A place that makes you lonelier. There is still no one present, although people on social media undoubtedly care, it’s just that nosing coffee or hand to hold.

The death of all hobbies

We used to do Ceroc. Found one class in our area at the most difficult time imaginable. Martial arts is better and my hubby will go back to it. I had a lovely Tai Chi club but they changed the location.

I used to do Amateur Dramatics; Pilates; Zumba. I was surprised that classes were so thin on the ground up here. Down south I had friends to go with. Up here, not so much. I have a lovely neighbour I play badminton with though, which is wonderful. And a Frister (friend who is undoubtedly a sister from several other lives) that I see weekly unless life gets the way, and thank you God for that.

Internet searches in my area reveal very little. Covid strangled what little there was apparently. The only Yoga instructor I found worked in her loft! With a ladder for access! I have vertigo.

To be honest in what looked like a dynamic area it’s been unbelievable.

Pretty pictures

I’m still trying to picture a life I want. But my logic insists on getting in the way of my cosmic ordering and Law of Attraction, although in fact it’s probably working well.

Had it not been for Covid my husband and his boss would have been retired by now. Brexit didn’t help either. It caused a lot of importing and exporting havoc.

So the picture is there, but I need to improve some things in the meantime.

I’m on it. I’m no quitter. But thank you for the question. I’m going to polish up my visualisation skills.

Happy Sunday

Deb xx