My Saving Grace

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

If you’d told my grandmother that one day someone would write about her, she wouldn’t have believed you. If you’d told her that it would be on a phone with the power of a computer that she hasn’t even heard of, she would have laughed.

And yet she would have been intrigued, fascinated, and engaged. She was never a one for ‘in my day’, she lived in the here and now, and was far more modern than her daughters.

She was also incredibly strong despite having had a pretty brutal life, burying three sons and her husband by the time she was 56. Yes she suffered from horrible depression that often created an unpleasant atmosphere, yes she could be incredibly difficult. But she lived life on her own terms and never quit.

She had strong personal beliefs that she lived, they weren’t just words. And she didn’t live by anyone else’s rules. Three times doctors told her she would die, three times she didn’t. She always said that granddad would tell her when it was her time, and when he did she died…of nothing. In the words of the doctor “she’s packing up from the feet up and when it reaches her heart it will stop”. Which is exactly what happened with three terminal diagnoses lying forgotten at least 7 years in the past.

She taught me to believe and trust what I feel, and not to live by the rules of others. I do my best.

The most important thing though is that she was the antidote to the most negative aspect of my childhood and youth. I don’t like to think of where I’d be without her influence. I’m more me because of her.

She’s long gone and still a real support in my life. Like her I have strong personal-spiritual beliefs, and like her, they sustain me. As she’s over there she’s still a part of that, and me.

Helena Violet Herring, my Nan, isn’t a past positive impact and never will be, she’s still in the here and now, where she always lived. And I’m still grateful.

Total respect Nan

Deb xx


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

2 thoughts on “My Saving Grace

  1. My beautiful man, my 32-year-oId son left this earth ten years ago. My initial violent grief gradually melted into a strange cloud of pride of having been his mother. I’m with him all the time and I’m okay now. See my eBook on Amazon Kindle: Afterlifers and the Mountain, on Author page Dee Tezelli. Happy Mothers Day to All.


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