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After an exciting week last week, this pretty much sums up my feelings right now.

Last week I was full of enthusiasm, my get up and go was go, go, going, I was ready to take on the world and win. Today I couldn’t decided a) whether I was hungry, and b) what to have for lunch, so I didn’t bother.

Change something or do something?

For many years I’ve been one of those people who would get going, then see a butterfly and forget all about it. Seriously, the truth is that I’m far too content a candidate for world domination. I don’t need much, in fact I’m entirely aligned with Andy Dooley ( that “the most important thing is feeling good”. It makes for a rather stop-start momentum.

Those who want to make it hugely big would roll their eyes at me, I know this because they have. Yet I feel better about myself, my home, my life, my husband, my cats, my friends, my car, my hair, my make-up, my body, my everything, than I ever have in my life. So what exactly would I be getting wrong and why have I decided to be bored witless and filled with spectacular unenthusiasm today?

It’s just a day

That’s the simple truth I didn’t recognise years ago. No one is ‘on’ all the time. Not everyone is constantly thinking what they can do next and moving from one thing to the next. Sometimes you need to take stock, but make sure you’re not turning taking stock into a lifetime commitment.

As long as we watch ourselves, and don’t try to fool ourselves – which won’t work as those close to you will see and tell you, then you’ll deny it, and eventually they’ll give up on you, probably after you have – we should be okay. It’s important not to make a hump in the road into the next mountain to be conquered.

Or it might be your life

Your reality may not allow you to chase your dreams at this moment in time. There may be real life events going on that require your full attention; everything from losing a loved one to bringing up the children, to just paying the bills. Yes the ra-ra cheerleading for success brigade will tell you that you’re just making excuses and you can raise children, look after your elderly nan, make a cordon bleu meal, and create an award winning multi-million turnover business, and still have time to do your nails. But that may not be true for you.

The culture of success is not for everyone, nor is it necessary, it’s okay to not want something you don’t want. It’s okay to be you, your way, as long as you’re happy with that. But it took me a long time to realise that I was happy doing what I was doing, building up slowly, having fun. The moment everything I’d dreamed of doing became about money it stopped being fun, and I stopped doing it.

You may be thinking that it’s unrealistic to want to have fun, but actually it’s completely backwards to not want to have fun. Laughter is the best medicine. What you do with your life should be enjoyable. If it’s not, it might not be easy for you to change that, but you should definitely put anything you’re not enjoying to the top of your to-do list. This is your life, not a rehearsal.


To return to my original point, about being too contented. if that makes your life perfect, then that is perfect. If, however, you want to achieve, or need to create real change, allow yourself a bit of down time, and then get back to tackling the issue.

Drifting is far too easy, and it gets you where everyone else wants you to go.

To your happiness and chosen success

Deb xx


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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