Too Many Lonely Coffees

Not my happiest poem but I’m sure many will relate
I’ve sat in many coffee shops nursing cups of coffee
Watching people interacting in an ordinary way
My loneliness is crippling but no one gives a toffee
Somehow they know (how could they know?) 
That I was born this way

Fate played an icy game when I came into this world
Setting fingers of indifference upon a tiny child
I’m a normal willing member of the human race but
Fate opened my heart to love and then left an empty space

My cup is overflowing but no one wants to share
I care so much and love so hard
I'm puzzled by despair

I cannot help but wonder what places me apart
Unless of course they’re deafened by
Tears falling in my heart

Deb Hawken ©
January 2016

If you’re struggling like this, and know this feeling only too well, do seek help. We live in a society now that struggles to connect and wasn’t raised to recognise loving, decent, people. A society where kindness is seen as weakness, or a total lack of understanding what’s really going on. Also remember that because of my spiritual learning I now stand in my own space, and don’t take other peoples’ thoughts, words, and actions, on board as having anything to do with me…they aren’t.


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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