Judged and Found Wanting?

We’ve all had the feeling of being judged and found to be less than someone else thinks we should be, but have you ever stopped to consider the kind of person who would be judgemental, especially towards something with mental health issues?

Sometimes it’s easy to think you’re less than them because they’re saying so, but isn’t judgement cruel and unkind? I would say that’s far worse than struggling with your own mind for good reason.

However, the stronger you get, the more centred you become, the sooner they will fade to the edges of your life and disappear once and for all.

Here’s something I wrote in 2004 when I was feeling judged and found wanting, from all sides.

The Eyes of the Judges

Ten times ten

And ten times one thousand

Everyone watching everything – everywhere

Nothing and no one escapes those looks

Seeing – knowing – judging

Glowing with their superiority

Their eternal rightness of being

While the watched struggle and strive

Just to stay sane and alive

With no time for perfection

Or to wallow in the luxury of being right

No thought to impress

Trusting that in the next breath

The next instant

Everything will change

Those who are wrong will be right

The righteous will fall from grace

And the rest of us will continue being real

Knowing that we are enough

Flowing with the process of life

Free and easy because we’re free of them

Slightly concerned about the price of jam

And tomorrow’s weather

That is all

Deb Hawken – 2004


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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