We’ve all had the feeling of being judged and found to be less than someone else thinks we should be, but have you ever stopped to consider the kind of person who would be judgemental, especially towards something with mental health issues?
Sometimes it’s easy to think you’re less than them because they’re saying so, but isn’t judgement cruel and unkind? I would say that’s far worse than struggling with your own mind for good reason.
However, the stronger you get, the more centred you become, the sooner they will fade to the edges of your life and disappear once and for all.
Here’s something I wrote in 2004 when I was feeling judged and found wanting, from all sides.
The Eyes of the Judges
Ten times ten
And ten times one thousand
Everyone watching everything – everywhere
Nothing and no one escapes those looks
Seeing – knowing – judging
Glowing with their superiority
Their eternal rightness of being
While the watched struggle and strive
Just to stay sane and alive
With no time for perfection
Or to wallow in the luxury of being right
No thought to impress
Trusting that in the next breath
The next instant
Everything will change
Those who are wrong will be right
The righteous will fall from grace
And the rest of us will continue being real
Knowing that we are enough
Flowing with the process of life
Free and easy because we’re free of them
Slightly concerned about the price of jam
And tomorrow’s weather
That is all
Deb Hawken – 2004
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Published by debdancingstarhawken7
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.
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Deb Hawken 