Confidence is a Myth

How would you rate your confidence level?

As a public speaker I describe myself as The Myth Buster. Through my spiritual learning I have realised that the way we think is based on centuries of opinions formed by our ancestors, and things need to change. Seriously, hugely, change. Our thoughts about ourselves and who we are can be toxic.

It’s a Myth

Only 10 days ago I did the talk “The Self Confidence Myth” and in line with that talk I can tell you that I don’t have any of what we call self-confidence, I wouldn’t bother with it, and I certainly don’t need it. It doesn’t exist, and the concept of it is more often used as a weapon to tell your that you need more of it or you are a show off because you have too much of it. That or you know too little or think you know too much.

You need a completely different focus

My spiritual learning has taught me this. Thanks to my Guides I’ve learned far healthier ways to think, and how the change of one single word can change the entire focus of your life and your emotional landscape. Leaving with spirit is THAT simple. The power of it is incredible.

My two long-running groups consist of people who stayed the course through the basics of spiritual learning, including the powering up of their intuition, and connection to Guides, and then to themselves. We’re not a classic spiritual group, like me, they know that if you don’t work on yourself nothing will change.

What we’re doing now transcends human thinking and it’s so simple. I’ve watched their confidence grow and them become more and more who they really are, and we haven’t once touched on confidence. The strength has developed in a completely different way.

Many of us are handling situations entirely differently, surprising ourselves completely, because the healing we’ve done has been barely noticeable. There are no anxious discussions, no journeys back through the past. It began with a very short visualisation about a swim in a lake. At the time even I was clueless.

When Spirit teach they don’t tell you what you’re going to get, they teach the techniques and find out what you get, then they adapt to help you find the right way for you.

God gave us free will and as Amos my Guide says: no one gets to take it away not even the must highly developed souls.

I’ve left confidence behind

Not only in this blog but in life. Ten days ago when I did that talk I wasn’t nervous, and I loved every second of it. I didn’t torture myself in case I wasn’t perfect, in fact I made the point I wouldn’t be. AND I didn’t care. I was just there to help, in any way I could, that’s all that mattered.

I know I can speak, I trained for five years to make sure of it. I didn’t need confidence. I enjoyed it for the first time ever because I wasn’t letting self-doubt trip me up. My focus was one million percent on the people in front of me. Where it should be.

You see, when I was told I needed more confidence those words sapped my self-belief. Thanks to Spirit I don’t need it and I am what I need to be.

Telling no secrets?

I’m not holding back on what you do need to be disingenuous, to tease. I’m not going into it because it’s a broad subject and it needs discussion.

In fact if enough people contact me through this blog, I will happily put on a webinar for £5 each to cover my time, I’m not expecting hundreds, hardly anyone has heard of me. Just message me through this blog and I’ll help.

You just need a fuller picture than I can give in a blog, and you need my energy in person. Trust me on that. I work in mysterious ways, even I don’t understand them completely. What I do know is that people change easily when they work with me because I’m genuinely here to help, and they don’t get judged. We’ve all been messed up and we just need positive help.

I met so many people who enjoyed my misery and made it worse, and just TWO that didn’t. Who never gave up on me. I’m paying that forward.

My techniques are simple, and weird. Solve problems by not focusing on them. It works like…well…a miracle.


Let me leave you with one technique that changes everything. You’ll feel like you’ve been given almost nothing, all this hope and just one tiny thing? If you practice it it will change EVERYTHING.

Three times a day:

Place both hands over your heart, and breathe in and out for a count of five for five minutes. Do this and a calmness will appear within you, space will appear between your thoughts. Focus is key though. Just for those short periods of time feel how comforting it is just to sit there like that.

You thought I was going to say focus on your breathing didn’t you? That would actually take you out of the moment, especially as in times of stress breathing can be a struggle. Just feel the warmth and sense of protection, and realise you are bringing that beautiful feeling to yourself. No one else is doing it, it’s all you.

To your happiness as always

If you’re interested in knowing more, let me know, you’re welcome to bring others who need help providing the contact comes through this blog.

Deb xx

P.S. sorry about the lack of images, I did this on my phone and haven’t worked all that out yet. Better to get the word out there than be perfect eh? 😍


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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