An Unexpected Life

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

This is me at a public speaking event, doing my keynote speech “The Myth Buster”.

Amongst the many things I never thought I’d do, the courage to stand up and speak to an audience was right up there on the list with ‘remain sane’.

I didn’t think I would become a medium, healer, author, spiritual mentor, and on and on and on!

Who does expect?

This is me sitting in a tree house at Warners’ Cricket St. Thomas hotel. Another place I never expected to work as a resident medium.

The thing is that most of us live unexpected lives, partly because we’re not taught to start planning our lives carefully at the age of 2. Okay I’m pushing that a bit, but you know what I mean. In order to have a planned and expected life we’d have to be aware practically from the moment we shot out of the birth canal (or was dragged out as I was), that we need to be mindful of our lives and make sure what we chose to do was in line with the person we are. How boring.

Change – eek!

Many humans have a tendency to fear change, probably because once we start making mistakes we stop trusting our decision making abilities. Turning this around though, we shouldn’t fear change because we’ve made mistakes, we should remember that they are terrible warnings about what not to do, and that we’re lucky to have gone wrong so that we know how to get things right.

I would even put marrying completely the wrong person into that category, because it taught me what the right person looked like. Would my current husband and I have made it were this not a second marriage for both of us? Truthfully I can’t be sure because life threw in us being totally different to really challenge how much we loved each other. Turns out we do, but being able to measure this man up against the last one was a big help. It also taught me that I can make much better decisions.

BIG point here, if you learn from your mistakes and start getting things right, or at least better, then you have no need to fear change.

First sight only?

Unless you have the advantage of second sight and can foretell the future, life is always going to be unexpected, that teaches you to take advantage of unexpected opportunities, deal with unexpected downturns, and also embrace life as a voyage of discovery rather than a plod from cradle to grave determinedly doing what you’d so carefully planned to do at 16. Whether it’s working or otherwise, whether you’re bored now, whether something better is out there but you can’t take advantage of it because you have a plan.

Opportunity knocks

The things I never thought I’d do have been wonderful. What’s more they’ve been things I may have been scared to try if they hadn’t appeared in my life organically.

Not having a plan allows all manner of options to appear in your life, some you take up, some you don’t, sometimes you regret that, but most of the time you realise that you’re actually exactly where you are meant to be in that moment.

Bet that wouldn’t happen if we planned too much and were then scared to be wrong. It’s not really easier to do nothing, but very tempting when you’re trying to be right instead of thinking ‘that looks like fun, let’s give it a whirl.’

To your happiness

Deb xx


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

4 thoughts on “An Unexpected Life

  1. Some really interesting insights here. I totally get your point about expectations of others that we will have everything planned out and stick with the plan come hell or high water. Doesn’t always work that way and we need to adapt, to change – it can also take us a while to figure out who we really are, and therefore really make the right plan for us.

    Liked by 1 person

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