The 25% Rule

Photo by Belle Co on

This image doesn’t exactly represent the 25% rule, and yet that turtle in the vastness of the sea kind of does.

It acts as a reminder that if you want to trawl through your past you have a long way to travel, no signposts, and it will all get lost in the enormity of your life.

You don’t remember your past – honest!

It’s scientific fact that we only remember 25% of our past accurately, the other 75% is logical deduction, based on our feelings about it, that we use to make links between the facts. That’s why the stories we tell change slightly each time.

People think we’re embroidering, trying to make ourselves more interesting, things more dramatic, but each time we talk about the past we have to fill in those gaps. As we change the fillers change to.

The thing that really gets me though…

Is that every time you revisit the past you trawl through your memories and recreate that past. Which is great if it was a happy time, but if not:

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

So the BIG point here is – if you don’t remember the past accurately, it’s far better to revisit the good times and enjoy creating beautiful links in those gaps. BUT…

Avoid avoid avoid

Think very carefully about recreating hurtful moments, moments of failure, arguments, when you didn’t get that job, when the love of your life (who probably wasn’t) left you.

This is actually a good example. How many people have you known who’ve stayed in heartbreak for a very long time, recreating a relationship in the full beam of rose coloured glasses, and been unable to date because they’ve lost their trust in themselves, or others. What if they didn’t think back filling in the gaps with a gorgeousness that may not have been there?

How many times have you listened to friends do this and thought “but you were always arguing”. How many times have you looked back and later realised that it wasn’t quite like your spin on the memories?

So people who deserve happiness

If you must think back, choose good times, good moments, happy memories, joyful experiences. Thinking of lost loved ones, friends, and pets, is always a more pleasant experience if you go back to when they were at their prime isn’t it? Those last days really aren’t what they were all about are they?

Choose happiness
Choose now
Because you’re creating your future with every thought

And looking back at the difficult times is how you manage to keep making the same mistakes. what you think about you bring about. Think forward into the new, unexplored, and potentially magnificent.

To your happiness
Deb xx


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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