My Child

My Child said to me one day...

“Daddy there is someone at school who is different?”
I said
“There is no one at your school who is different.”

“But daddy there is, their skin is different to mine.”
“It may look different, but it still does the same job,
it holds their bodies together and hides their feelings.”

“Hides their feelings daddy?”
“Yes, skin is the only thing between us and the hurts of the world.”
“It’s very thin.”
“Yes, it is, and you should remember that.”
“Why daddy?”

“Because everyone feels hurt sometimes,
but people become so used to it they hold it inside.”
“Why?”

“Because they feel like no one cares.
But there, under their skin, are all the hurt feelings,
waiting to be healed.”

“How will that happen daddy?”
“It will happen when people take care what they say and do.
When people understand that they don’t understand others.
And that whatever side of the fence you’re on,
those on the other side are just as human as you are.
And it works both ways.”
“Both ways?”

“Yes, my child.
It is easy for anyone to feel innocent,
as if they are the only one being hurt,
and that is because it’s too easy to think that what hurts you
is the only hurt.  The only way to be hurt.”
“I don't understand.”

“Okay.  People are hurt because of their skin colour, their gender,
their level of intelligence, their lack of experience, or success.  They’re hurt by the place they were born, the people they called friends, the partners that beat them and diminish them.
There are so many hurts.”

“And none is worse than the other?”
“That’s right my child, all hurts hurt,
and you cannot look at a person and say,
that the way they appear means they have never been hurt.”
“Because appearance doesn’t protect anyone?”
“Exactly.”

“Is there anything you can be that is better than anything else
so that you don’t get hurt daddy?”
“In your world, the answer appears to be no, my child.
Whatever you are can be used against you
by people who need to do that.”
“What kind of people are those?  I would like to avoid them!”

“Then avoid frightened, angry people. People so certain they’re right
that they can’t see beyond that.  Avoid people who take such pride
in being what they are that they think that’s the only thing to be.
People who take their sense of self from their race, their gender, their religion, where they were born, where they live,
how much money they have.
They’re all frightened. 
And these things aren’t a route to inclusion.”

“Okay daddy, but there is one thing…”
“Yes, my child?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be omnipotent?
Doesn’t that mean you have all the answers?”
“I Am and I do.”
“So, what is the answer,
what is the best thing to be so all the hurt stops?”

“Love my child.
I told you all over 2000 years ago, but no one listened.”
“Oh!”
“Will you listen?”
“Yes daddy.”

“Then the world just became a far better place.”


Deb Hawken
December 2022
With love