Newsletter – January 23

Having perfected the format (until I change it of course) I’ve decided to put my newsletter up on this blog so that more people get the opportunity to see it. Until now it’s been languishing on a fairly well-hidden Facebook page, doing very little good. As I write to try and do some good, this makes more sense.

Are you over it?

New year, new start, new resolutions. Are you still working on those changes or have you kind of slipped back into hibernation mode, snuggled under blankets, reading a book, watching tv, knowing that there’s plenty of time this year to create change. That’s what happened to last year, and in my case the 64 years before that!

Spiritual thinking can save you

If you are one of those people whose resolutions sound good on the 31st December and yet never quite work out, take heart, there’s a far better way to life your life that doesn’t mean letting yourself down every 12 months, or even every day.

The thinking that saved my sanity is a spiritual thinking based on life in this world, I used to call it ‘practical spirituality for everyday living’ as you can see. Bit of a mouthful but a neat description.

This isn’t a hurried thinking. It accepts that we develop from the cradle to the grave. Not that we ‘get better’, which suggests that at some point we were a worse person, but that throughout our lives we live, learn, love, and create ourselves into someone not of our parents’ making, not a result of the opinions of others, but our own person aligned with our own soul.

This renders resolutions pointless and takes away the pressure of having to do something to a deadline. Often resolutions represent what we ought to do, and let’s face it, if we’d wanted to do that thing we would just do it. My husband and I have pretty much ignored ‘dry January’ since forever. This year we had a two sentence discussion “shall we do dry January?”, “yes why not”, and that’s what we’re doing. I think so far there’s been one suggestion of breaking the rule, a touch of temptation, then agreement to carry on.

For me it’s part of our evolution as people, not a big thing, something that felt like the right thing in that moment, and is therefore easy. Spirituality is like that.

The Message

Allow yourself to grow and develop every day, naturally, in your unique way. Do what feels right when it feels right. Don’t blame yourself if something you should do is something you know you won’t do, that just creates stress, instead make a note of it and when the time is right, do it.


One of my favourite pieces of inspiration comes from learning about the natural way Native Americans viewed the year as they lived it by following the seasons.

* In the spring you sow the seeds of the year.
* In the summer you tend only the strongest shoots.
* In the autumn you harvest.
* In the winter you rest and reflect.

This makes so much more sense than our rush, rush, rush society.

So much to do so little time

The curse of modern life that is hard to ignore or neatly package into a solution. So many of us are subject to any number of pressures. I won’t list them you know them. And yet, as I observe people going about their lives – and I do that a lot – I see already pressured people adding more pressure. Making choices to complicate their lives rather than create time to rest and recharge.

The worst part of this is that there’s very little time to think about how you’re feeling, whether you’re happy, if your job suits you, whether you’re living a life that is perfect for you, or driven by any number of external theories and perceived necessities.

Think and feel

It’s winter now, and the perfect time to read this newsletter. Maybe if you take the time to slow down where you can, and do that by noticing how you spend your time and where you can do less, you can have a year that is more aligned to happiness and less aligned to doing and the pursuit of stuff.


If you’re telling yourself that you’re under far too much pressure and only an insane person would suggest that you have five minutes to slow down and think, let alone do less than you’re doing. Stop and breathe. It will benefit your mental and physical health greatly to ease off the stress peddle. You may have more time to be with your children, to read a book, to take health enhancing walks, listen to music. To feel better. To teach your children and grandchildren a better way to live. Try it, it might help and it can’t hurt.


I like this new layout, I get to come first on this page. When you think about the things mum has been talking about, resting during the winter and reflecting on life, making sure you’re happy, this image clearly demonstrates that I can do all these things. I can also, always find a sunny place in which to do them. Because I’m worth it.

Cats have no issues with self-worth, feeling that they deserve the best, and going out and finding it. We live lives as comfortable as is humanly possible when we have good humans. You need good humans.

Be a cat-person

You’ll be aware of the old saying that if a cat isn’t happy at home it will leave. It won’t put up with cruelty if there’s a window it can escape from. Yet you guys are willing to be unhappy because ‘life is like that’ or it’s part of your learning and development as a human being. It makes no sense.

What can you learn being sad that you can’t learn when you’re happy?

This is an important question. Think about it, and the next time you’re tempted to settle for second best or learn the hard way, or both, think of yourself as a cat-person. Blend the two things together and demand treats…I mean…treat yourself the way you would treat your pet (if you have one). If you haven’t then you may have to get one. Please go to a rescue centre though, the best creatures turn up there.

Otherwise, just follow my lead and I’ll help you think like the most precious thing on the planet that other people are fortunate to meet, know, and love. Because it’s true. There’s only one you and you’re worth the best of everything.

Marcus Aurelius II

I hope you’ve enjoyed this new way of presenting the newsletter. Please have a look at my blog, so far, which is undergoing a lot of changes at the moment. I’ll be adding some poems, busting the myths that hold us back, and whatever occurs to me in the next few weeks as I build this website.

I particularly love this joke as I’ve put hundreds of business cards in bin over the last 15 years, when something has changed (especially my mind!)

To your happiness – Deb xx


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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