Let’s Talk About Marby and Geris

Marby (Marbles) on the left
Geris (Gingernut) on the right

These little scraps saved my sanity

By 1984 I was in such a bad place that I decided that the only thing I could do was find something more important in my life than myself and what I was going through. I was fighting so hard to stay sane that my entire mind was taken up with the battle.

Having been terrified of cats since I was 9 years old, I suddenly decided that the answer was two kittens. As you may imagine that surprised everyone that knew me. My ex wasn’t keen (understatement) and it took me 3 months to talk him into having a cat; they were 3 months old when we got them. I now see the spiritual support in how that happened.

I called a few rescue centres and one told me that they had 3 kittens a ginger and white, a black and white, and a tortoiseshell and white , I knew that where we had to go. My ex said that if he had to have a cat it would have to be a ginger tom as they’re crazy and fun. Before we went I chose two names, Gingernut to placate him because they were the only biscuits he liked, and Marbles for the girl on the grounds that if she ever went missing I could go to the police and tell them I’d lost my marbles. It stopped being amusing when they hid under the sink and I couldn’t find them for two minutes.

When we got there, there were only two kittens, those two, and the lady said it was really odd because they’d called him a ginger nutcase that morning, and commented that her colouring was just like a marble because none of her colours blended, she was either black, ginger, or white. It’s these things that showed me, and still do, that our spirit guides, guardian angels, and soul group will always help us if they can, and we allow it.

The immediate change I hoped for

I had been under the hospital for two years by that time with gynae issues. I will say they’d been magnificent and I couldn’t fault them, but as a sufferer from medical anxiety being under a hospital was torture for me.

They were spayed and neutered a month later, and the next day I was due a check up which included a test many women do not look forward to. I walked in, hopped up on the couch, said “Can we get this over quickly please because my kittens were spayed yesterday and I really need to get home?” I spent the test time worrying about Marby, who had decided that the only possible place to hide and demonstrate her displeasure was under a pile of grubby decorating equipment (I’m wiser to those shenanigans now), in case she got her wound grubby. For the first time ever I wasn’t impacted. It was exactly what I’d hoped for, I was no longer living trapped inside my own mind.

The Marby and Geris Lesson

What those two beautiful beings taught me was that it’s important for someone with anxiety to have something important in their life, somewhere they’re needed, someone who needs them. You might fear that you’ll let people down by being unable to cope, and not everyone would be suited to looking after animals, that’s not a criticism, we all have to find our own way and why.

I would though encourage you to find a why, a purpose, something where you know you’re contributing. It doesn’t matter what it is, it doesn’t matter what you do, this is your journey, as long as it has the Marby and Geris effect of freeing you from your own mind.

Obviously I lost them

Having homed them in 1984, I lost Geris in 1999. That was something I didn’t think I could survive, but I did because of them. I lost my darling girl in 2001, and the loss of the second one of my saviours was so, so hard, but again I survived it, because of them and what they’d taught me.

Our path has been to home other cats in trouble and need, and when I say our, I mean the second husband who actually likes me, Tony. He’s as cat crazy as I am, and we’re up to 11 and 12 now, technically speaking, with 5 living with us, including 19 year old Jo-Jo. That’s an entire other story and I’ll tell you in one day to really demonstrate the power of believing that there’s more to this world that what we can see, hear, touch, feel, smell, and sense. Much, much, more.

Just grab the take away, that finding something important to you can be a complete life changed, and the life belt you can cling to as you work on your recovery.

To your happiness

Deb xx


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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