So, your anxiety isn’t clinical, that means that there’s something wrong with your life, which is good news because anything external can be changed, from the inside out!
Change your mind change your life
Although it’s obvious that physical factors will have to change in your life, if you don’t change the way you think then you will struggle to do more than tinker with the surface of change.
The person you are today got you to where you are now, and great respect to you, but in order to make different decisions and bring about happier healthier outcomes, you need to become a different person. Throughout this process I will be offering you all kinds of ideas, book suggestions, etc., that will help.
However, let’s start at the very beginning (sorry, Sound of Music moment) because it’s a very good place to start (there I go again), but as always the blindingly obvious is also the correct thing to do.
Make a list…
This might feel very scary, just remember that knowledge is power, and negativity is your best teacher and a clear road map out of this situation. Grab a piece of paper and write down everything you’d like to change from your hair to your toenails, your partner, your job, your house, area, country, shoes, car, umbrella. Doesn’t matter what it is. Make that list. Then prioritise it from easy to hard.
Letting myself learn the easy way?
There is no rule that says you have to learn everything the hard way,
it’s perfectly possible to love learning.
Yes, if you’re feeling low then it’s likely you’re also lacking energy both mental and emotional, so if you go straight in with separation and divorce it’s likely that you won’t have the energy to maintain the momentum. Perhaps you’ve tried to leave before and failed, that’s why, you didn’t have enough mental and emotional go juice!
Whereas, if you decide to get a new hairstyle that you like, and learn to style it yourself. That’s a small but important accomplishment; it makes you feel better, which will make you feel stronger, as well as representing a decision made, carried through, and problem solved.
Then take the next smallest thing and sort that out, and keep up that pattern. Gradually you’ll become a person who creates positive change, then a person who enjoys creating positive change, and by the time you get to the big stuff – career, divorce, emigrating – you’ll be so used to creating change it will just be the next logical step. Okay, some steps will have bigger ramifications and include emotional upheaval, as such they will take longer to deal with. But you will be stronger, have grown in confidence, know what you want, trust yourself, have self respect, and you will just stick at it until things change.
So pigeon steps, small changes leading to small successes, leading to big changes and big successes. All in your own good time. You might not feel like it but…
You are the master of your life and the commander of your own destiny.
Deb Hawken 