Don’t Be Ashamed to Need Help

Everyone needs support sometimes

One thing that surprises me is how long people struggle before they ask for help, and some don’t. For some it’s an admission of defeat, and if you’ve felt this way remember, you’re more likely to be defeated without help than you are if you knock down every door until you find the person that can help you.

I was a support seeking junkie!

Once I realised I needed help I didn’t stop, I had a mentor who used hypnosis to help me calm my mind and find my truth; I had a GP that I could see any time, and although I tried not to take too much advantage, I did seek her help. I read books, I gathered new ideas, I went to events with some of the top inspirers that I know of.

The reason I did this is that the person you are now has been programmed by others, and in order to become a happier, confident, strong person, which you undoubtedly can, you need to change the way you look at life and make your viewpoint and mind your own.

Stick with your mind if you can

I would never recommend that anyone refuses tablets if suggested by their general practitioner, but I have a good reason for suggesting that you see yourself and your own mind as the final solution to this problem, as it were.

I had a medical condition going on and the consultant wanted to to a major operation at the age of 29. My GP and I both agreed that I was far too young, and we didn’t think it was necessary. She suggested that, as I was going on a fortnight’s holiday with my ex (which was stressful at the best of times), I try a form of anti depressant. I did not want to! She pointed out that if the cause of the condition was stress, as we both suspected, then the tablets should ease or stop the symptoms. I reluctantly agreed but made her make an appointment for the first Monday I was back to take me off them.

I was certain I didn’t want them as my father had become addicted to Valium when I was young, and it had affected him very badly. Please note that this was in the early days of that kind of treatment and they know much more about how these drugs work now.

So, I went on holiday. I had to take four tablets a day, and I’m not going to lie to you I looked forward to the next tablet, counting down the minutes until I could take it. I felt so much more relaxed. They did work so I also knew that the condition was caused by stress.

When I went back a fortnight later the GP kept her promise and took me off the tablets, except that having been on them for 2 weeks it was going to take 6 weeks to come off them. I was furious! But she had proved an important point so I was also tactful. The consultant was wonderful about it too.

She asked me for my take on the tablets, and this is why I suggest that if you possibly can but have no shame about it if you can’t, you consider taking them very carefully. As I said I felt wonderful, I was relaxed, at ease, smiling and laughing, but…it was as if there was a glass ceiling in my mind, and below it I knew, I just knew, that nothing had changed. When I came off the tablets I went right back to where I was.


I mean this. If you’re struggling with your mind and emotions and you’re a single parent, a full time worker, under a lot of pressure, all of those things! If you’ve lost someone dear to you, or a beloved pet. If you’ve been made redundant, someone you love is ill, all these real life things that are so hard, and more so in this busy, pressured world, we now live in. Ask for help, see your GP, and if they suggest tablets listen and try them.

You can ask your GP to do what mine did and promise to help you get off them. The next GP I went to in a mess said if I didn’t want tablets I had to see a community psychiatric nurse, boy did I flinch at that one, but it was an either/or (and he had eyes like my mother in a strop), so I chose the psychiatric guy, and that was one great move!

I never refused help, I listened to everyone I could, and although I didn’t want to take those tablets for reasons I think you can understand, I never regretted taking them…because they told me that I was capable of feeling good!

I was embarrassed to need help though, bothering doctors when it was ‘all in my head’, which it wasn’t. See the next blog. But I’ve never ever regretted taking all the help I was offered because it was the only way I found out what worked.

Even more important!

If your condition turns out to be clinical, caused by some sort of imbalance in the body, then you will need tablets or some sort of treatment, and you must never feel bad about that. You wouldn’t apologise for the flu or a broken leg, and no one, no one, ever needs to apologise for having a compromised mind, medical cause or life cause.


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

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