You will be aware of the word negativity, you’ve been warned against it, scolded for being it, and probably told over and over again that if you were just more positive everything would magically be better. If I may be so bold – garbage!
Our minds are a jigsaw puzzle of our thoughts and experiences, all of which are useful.
Who’s your best friend?
Negativity is. When you suppress your negativity and pretend it isn’t there, battling on with a determined smile on your face whilst inside you’re falling apart, you don’t heal anything, you don’t change anything. When you face what people call negativity head on, when you listen to yourself ‘moan’, when you write that down in a journal and reflect on it, then you’re taking back your power.
Who’s your greatest teacher?
Negativity is. The negativity you express is the problem, or problems, that you have. It’s telling you plainly and simply exactly what is wrong, so stop being afraid to be ‘negative’, stop bottling your feelings up until you explode, grab that journal and make some notes about what upset and troubled you today. It will become your road map to mental health. Think about things such as:
What triggered that outpouring?
Did someone say or do something that reminded you of a bad thing that happened?
Did someone speak to you in a disrespectful way?
Did they speak truth? It’s important to know if what they said was right even if you don’t approve of the words or tone – you can deal with that later as I did the mocha!
Was it a song, music?
Was it something medical? There is such a thing as medical anxiety.
Is there a difficult anniversary coming up?
There are many questions but that should get you going. Just don’t forget…
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.
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Deb Hawken 