You Weren’t Born This Way

There are reasons why you are the way you are now, but you’re probably so exhausted by trying to cope that you have no real idea how all this happened.

Butterflies represent transformation
see them as the bad thoughts leaving your mind

The thing with stress and anxiety is that it grows on you, there is a sliding scale: stress, strain, anxiety, acute anxiety, depression, and it’s so easy to slide down that scale without realising that you joined it in the first place.

You start as a perfectly normal person, coping with your everyday life, then suddenly you feel frightened, tired, anxious about the smallest things, and you have to turn the light on and off 3 times every time you use it in case some bad, unknowable thing happens if you don’t.

Journal to take control

Find the Reasons

Forget everything else that anyone says about you and your state of mind, and start keeping a journal noting what’s happened to you in the past, and what’s happening now.

It’s really important that you understand this yourself, and don’t take other people’s words for what happened. It doesn’t matter what would or would not affect them, or how they perceive your life, how they think they would have handled, or handle, it, it only matters that you have been affected by it.

Trust Yourself First

You may not feel like a highly reliable person as you cower under the bed clothes unwilling to face another day, because life is just too much, but you are the authority on yourself, and you need to respect that idea.

I was constantly told I was an idiot, and when I went through this process I’m suggesting to you, I was stunned by how many real things had happened. It was years later that someone who had known me almost my entire life told me that I’d had the hardest life emotionally of anyone they’d ever met, and I didn’t deserve a moment of it. Hold on to that idea too.


  • Create a journal, focus on what has happened to you, but be bland about it, don’t get into the emotions, look for the facts.
  • Then start writing in that journal daily, note where you’ve struggled, what has happened, and how you felt about it.

None of this is negative, this is information, it is knowledge, it is power. Just don’t use the journal as an excuse to dwell on what’s happened. If you dwell on the past it becomes your present and carries the attitudes, feelings, and decisions, that will become your future.

“The past isn’t just over, it literally no longer exists.” Gregg Braden


Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: